


How to Kidnap a Prince

by merelyans



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Medieval, M/M, Oikawa definitely does NOT eat children, Prince Iwaizumi Hajime, Warlock Oikawa Tooru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28998411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merelyans/pseuds/merelyans
Summary: The guards at Iwaizumi Castle know all about the dark warlock Oikawa. A little too well. They know that he likes to try new ways to kidnap the Prince on Fridays, try again on Sunday, and plan and watch on weekdays.The only thing they can’t figure out is why he’s so intent on killing their beloved Prince.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 11
Kudos: 116





	How to Kidnap a Prince

**Author's Note:**

> This was taken from a collection of oneshots I had last October that I have since deleted to edit and repost as single works, so if this seems familiar, I didn't steal it! It's mine :)

It was a damn shame.

Oikawa has tried everything he could. He tried potions that boiled over with messaging smoke to trick the Prince into meeting him at the pub off main street, he tried raising the tides to create the perfect beach day to lure the Prince out, only for the moon to betray him and flood the shoreline, and he even tried to use his umbrakinesis to shadow-travel into the castle, but he has to admit that Prince Iwaizumi keeps his quarters very well lit, and couldn't make it past the west wing.

He is getting impatient, desperate, swiping through one of his grimoires to look for _anything_ that would help.

All he has to do is get past the guards.

“What if I use a sleeping potion on his food and then bring him back here?” Oikawa runs his finger over the ingredients list, expectantly looking at his crow familiar, Tobio.

Tobio squawks angrily.

“Right, that’s called kidnapping.” Oikawa mutters. “What if I burn down the castle gates and just walk through?”

Tobio squawks even angrier.

“Dammit!” Oikawa throws the grimoire across the room in frustration before levitating it softly to the floor. “Why is this so hard!”

Tobio chirps.

“I know! I’m trying my best! But none of the potions or the spells or the curses seem to be working! I’m just banned from the castle now. Did you hear that they started making up rumors that I eat children? Who even _does_ that?”

Oikawa flops down on a chair, petting Tobio’s feathers. Tobio immediately ruffles them back out of place as soon as Oikawa removes his hand, flapping to another side of the room to preen himself. Oikawa sighs, summoning another one of his grimoires, the heavy book too much for his hand and it falls into his lap with a painful clunk.

Tobio starts squawking in a way that Oikawa just _knows_ is laughter.

“Oh shut up, I can still cook you,” Oikawa points a finger at him, and Tobio stops his shrill series of chirps, staring with blank eyes. Oikawa nods with a huff and turns back to the grimoire that’s currently crushing his legs. “Now, what do you think? I could curse his guards-”

_Squawk._

“I could block out the sun-”

_Squawk._

“What if I poison him and send a letter saying I have the only antidote?”

That one gets the loudest squawk.

“What more do you want from me?” Oikawa yells, Tobio flapping across the room, dropping a single rose petal on his lap. Oikawa picks it up and inspects it, rubbing it between his fingers as it starts to wilt. Tobio chirps, landing in front of him, nipping at Oikawa’s fingers with his beak. 

Oikawa’s eyes go wide. 

“Oh. I see.”

-

The guards at Iwaizumi Castle know all about the dark warlock Oikawa. A little too well. They know that he likes to try new ways to kidnap the Prince on Fridays, try again on Sunday, and plan and watch on weekdays. 

The only thing they can’t figure out is why he’s so intent on killing their beloved Prince. 

If it’s some sort of power thing, the amount of magic power he wields cannot be matched, and if Oikawa so wished, he can single-handedly take over the kingdom in a matter of days. If he wants money, he could have taken it all when he became trapped in the vaults in a fit of botched teleportation. If he wants chaos, he can control them all with one spell, and they’d all bend to their knees to serve his will.

No, it wasn't any of that.

He just wants Prince Iwaizumi, and it takes everything in the guards’ power to try and understand _why._ The best reason they have is that if Iwaizumi is dead, the kingdom would suffer great loss, and it doesn’t seem too far off of what a child-eating warlock might want.

That’s why they raise their swords when The Great Mage walks up to the gates, a bouquet of brilliant red, pink, and white roses in his hands. 

“Begone, you foul child-eater.” Kindaichi orders, his grip tightening around his sword.

“You seriously don't believe I eat children, right?” Oikawa huffs, rolling his eyes. “I have never once eaten a child. Maybe I snapped off the top half of a few guards in my dragon form, but definitely not children. Even I refuse to stoop _that_ low.”

Ah yes, the famous dragon incident from a few years ago. When Oikawa had transformed into a mighty dragon and had climbed the eastern tower to try and kidnap the Prince. It takes everything in Kindaichi’s power not to avenge his fallen brethren right there on the spot.

“What dastardly scheme do you have planned today?”

Oikawa looks down at the roses, then looks up with a sickening grin.

“I am here to bring the Prince roses. No harm in that, right?”

Oikawa dodges the guard that’s been sneaking up behind him with a rapier. Yahaba flies into the air, hovering feet off the ground. He screams for help, but no one dares move. If they do, Oikawa might send him flying into the sun, spin him until his insides turn to mush, or rip him to shreds with the mere flick of the wrist.

“Poison roses? Laced with a sleeping draught? Will one prick of their thorns set people ablaze?”

“None of that, they do happen to be enchanted, though, if you want me to be honest,” Oikawa looks down at the roses, the guards tensing around him. Oikawa puts his hands on his hips. “Oh, relax, the enchantment is so that they take years to die,” He deeply sniffs the roses to prove that they were fine. 

Instead, he sneezes, Yahaba dropping, narrowly missing the plunge of his own sword. Blue fire blows out of Oikawa’s nose as he sneezes, and he wipes dark red tears from his eyes.

It’s a sure sign that the man before them is far from being a mere mortal, but seeing it first hand was something else. He has demon blood for sure, and there’s only evil that’s settled into his heart. A true demon, and a demon that wants their Prince.

“This is just a ploy to get inside,” Kindaichi turns his nose up, motioning for his men to hold until he gives the order to strike.

“Yeah, sure it is, Yuu-chan,” Oikawa rolls his eyes. “No, you idiots, I’m just here to give flowers to the Prince.”

Kindaichi raises an eyebrow.

“Why?”

“Why?” Oikawa laughs, his fangs poking out of his lips, eyes burning red with amusement. “Because none of my other pick-up lines worked! Might as well try my hand at mortal romance if my smoke potion isn’t going to do the job.”

“Mortal… romance?”

“Yes, romance,” Oikawa huffs. “I’ve been trying to woo the Prince for ages, isn’t it obvious?”

Kindaichi doesn't know what to say. His lips part, his face utterly dumbstruck.

“Woo?”

“Yes, good, you can speak. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Oikawa’s eyes flash a deep crimson and everyone within the area is frozen, Oikawa gingerly waving at everyone as he skates by, a smirk plastered on his face. He ruffles his hand through Kindaichi’s hair, his eyes flickering back and forth in horror as Oikawa flashes a hearty grin.

“Same time next week, fellas?” He hums to himself, levitating up to the Prince’s room. 

Iwaizumi turns around from his desk, unsurprised.

“You again.”

“What? No smile for your boyfriend?”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes as Oikawa presents the roses. 

“The guards gave me trouble again. Please remind them that I am welcome here.”

“They’re just protective,” Iwaizumi smiles down at the roses, Oikawa wrapping his hands around his neck, nuzzling into his hair. “Besides, every time I try to tell them we’re in a relationship I get curse checked.”

“They’re even calling me a child-eater!”

Iwaizumi stares flatly, “Didn’t you eat three of my guards when you were a dragon?”

“First of all, it was two,” He holds up two fingers and presses them together for effect. “And second of all, ouch.”

Iwaizumi stands up, putting the roses in the vase next to his bed, removing the enchanted lavender that Oikawa had given him three years ago.

“Roses.” He nods in consideration. “You know, I was half expecting you to pull some elaborate poisoning scheme in which you would send a letter saying you had the only cure.”

Oikawa nervously pulls him in for a kiss so that Iwaizumi can’t see the look on his face. Iwaizumi pushes him onto the bed, and Oikawa smiles, coaxing him in with a little magical push on his back. Iwaizumi falls into him with a laugh and speaks between kisses and the growing smile that graces his lips.

“Next time, Tooru, just kidnap me.”

“Oh shut up, Hajime. It’s not as easy as it looks.”

**Author's Note:**

> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/oikawarights) and feel free to leave a kudos, a comment, or any constructive criticism!


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